Video Killed the Awkward Teen

How social media disrupts authenticity and the essential awkward phase

I remember a time before Covid, and before TikTok blew up, when following a trend meant growing your wardrobe over time, buying pieces you actually wanted and searched for. In 2018, where checkered vans, cat ears, high waisted and skinny jeans were all the rage in my middle school. Then to 2019, with the rise of puka shell necklaces, and hydro flasks were a must have. These trends lasted the whole year, there was no constant shift of trends every month. It was a simpler time. I know in middle school I was following these to a T. I had the hydro flask, I had the skinny jeans, and checkered vans. And, it was awkward, I didn't know how to style anything for the life of me, but neither did my peers around me.

Then, as we all know, Covid hit early 2020, catapulting us into the era of constant doomscrolling, isolation, and boredom. A shift in our culture as a whole, and suddenly trends that consist of one or two items turn into an entire wardrobe to fit into these aesthetics like “cottage core”, “dark academia”, and “E-girl.” It was confusing for everyone, and I can't imagine how it is now.

Eventually, as most do, I found what I like, what I felt comfortable in. Without that time and space I was given to experiment, to build up my self esteem, and identity, culturally and personally, I wouldn't be who I am today. My true, authentic self who feels comfortable in my body without question.

But teens today seem to be skipping that awkward phase: pre-teens now look like mini adults, and elementary-aged children are “Sephora influencers” with a 20-step skincare routine. It's really sad to witness how social media's influence has sunk its claws into the lives of teens and young children today, when only several years ago, this wasn't the case. These are the next generation of adults, and developing their own identity and self confidence without dependency is crucial to how they're going to interact with the world after high school.

Without that time and space I was given to experiment, to build up my self esteem, and identity, culturally and personally, I wouldn't be who I am today. My true, authentic self who feels comfortable in my body without question.

But before phones and social media, there were still ample styles for people to wear and buy for, subcultures that defined an individual's political stance, resistance to the mainstream, and a symbol of class. A way to express autonomy, group identity, and a space for connection amongst like minded people through music, politics, and media. Clothes were used as a form of revolution. But why is this important?

“Identity formation, figuring out values, beliefs, and direction, is the central task. Moreover, it is deeply intertwined with resilience, the capacity to stay grounded amid turmoil,” according to Raising Children Network. Fundamentally it is crucial in a teen's development. The awkward phase is about figuring out who you are not, to find out who you are. That is exactly why subculture exploration is important for teens. “It gives them a way of exploring new values and deciding how these fit with their family values…Also, subcultures can offer a set of unspoken guidelines about beliefs, behaviour, clothing and more. Beliefs, behaviour and clothing can be clear ways of signalling identity. They can also give young people a sense of belonging and a way to express ideas. The sense of identity, friendship and belonging that young people get from subcultures can help them feel good about themselves,” says Raising Children Network.

Youth have “subcultures” today with niche communities on TikTok and Instagram, but it's hard to define it as a “subculture” when the practices of these communities go directly against what a subculture is supposed to be. Consumerism, strict rules, unethical fast fashion, it's a parody of the original. With the dependence of our phones and the well-documented addictiveness of social media, it's no surprise that teens are so driven by what influencers are telling them. With the daily average screen time, according to recent studies, for teens at 7 hours and 22 minutes, with most teens spending 4.8 hours of that time on social media, that is 43% of the time that teenager is awake.

The social media spike from 2020 plays a big part in this appearance dependency. As we all know, Covid played a significant role in our social media consumption, and as a result, microtrends were created to keep us entertained while in isolation. Before 2020 microtrends, defined as short-lived, niche fashion, beauty, or lifestyle trends that gain rapid popularity—often through social media algorithms like TikTok and Instagram—and disappear just as quickly, simply weren't a thing, at least to the extent we know today. The rampant consumption of videos on TikTok, along with

every other influencer selling you their “must haves,” it's impossible to not be influenced even a little bit. Micro trends are made specifically for the social media algorithm, be cool one week, then thrown out for the next hot item the next week. And young teens and children, who consume these videos, are manipulated into thinking this is how they should act and dress.

I interviewed two of my younger brother's friends, who both requested to be kept anonymous: one girl (I’ll call her M) who is 14 in 8th grade, and another girl who is 15 and a sophomore in high school (I'll call her A). Both girls are very different: M has access to a phone and social media since she was in 4th grade, and A only got a phone in 9th grade, with no social media access until this year. M’s screen time for the last month averaged 8 hours and 56 minutes a day, with the time spent on social media being the majority with an average of 6 hours and 48 minutes. A's screen

time was only around 4 hours and 30 minutes a day; her mom puts her on a strict screen time limit, and only about 54 minutes on social media.

Micro trends are made specifically for the social media algorithm, be cool one week, then thrown out for the next hot item the next week.

I noticed a pretty obvious difference in style between the two. M, who admitted gets all inspiration from TikTok and Instagram, has a very trendy style: lulu lemon leggings paired with the newest Uggs, a 6-step skincare routine and “clean girl” makeup look. A on the other hand, dresses more comfortably, less “trendy”. When I asked her where she gets outfit inspiration from, she claimed Pinterest, where she finds an outfit with similar items she has and saves for later.

I observed that A’s style seemed more in tune to her personality; she wore graphic shirts with media she liked. A wore her favorite colors, picked shoes on comfort and color rather than what an influencer with millions of followers is wearing. M’s style fits the social media image: clean, basic, and what everyone else is wearing. I asked where she shops, she gave me a variety of answers that ranged from Target, Hollister, Lulu Lemon, to Shein and Amazon. All companies, besides Lulu Lemon, are classified as fast fashion. I asked if she tried to follow the trends she saw on social media, and she responded, "Obviously, I think it's cute so I'm going to buy it.”

When I brought up microtrends and the concern of buying a piece just to only wear it once, she agreed. M has a small collection of clothes she won’t wear anymore because it's not cool to wear them even if she still liked the item. Fast fashion has been pinnacle to the popularity of the microtrends that are promoted. Fast fashion is defined as an approach to the design, creation, and marketing of clothing fashions that emphasizes making fashion trends quickly and cheaply available to consumers.

The shift in style and “subculture” today is rooted in consumerism. I'm not denying the existence of different styles; there's an abundance. But the ethics of profit that motivate the algorithm's constant cycle of advertising, the influencers pushing these companies, and the watered down meaning of these styles, all that is what's wrong. It is subconsciously putting pressure on teens to consume to fit in. Not to mention the devastating effects fast fashion has on the environment.

This is exactly what is happening to M, and many other teens today. It's not their fault of course, social media is designed to be addictive, the influencers job is to pump out multiple videos a day to earn their money, to influence. Fast fashion is made to appeal to both. The websites are littered with “flash sale” countdowns, striking urgency and exclusivity into the buyer, “coupons” that make you feel better about your spending. It's all aggressive marketing, targeting the youth according to Better Internet for Kids. “Influencers frequently post unboxing and product review videos, normalising overconsumption and promoting material goods. Wanting to be like their peers, young people may associate purchasing products with their social image and self-esteem, reinforcing the cycle of compulsive consumption. Not keeping up with trends can lead to feelings of insecurity or anxiety.”

Fast fashion is subconsciously putting pressure on teens to consume to fit in. Not to mention the devastating effects fast fashion has on the environment.

Obviously style isn’t the most important thing in the world, and the awkward phase is always a struggle for teens. Social media is a way to stay connected to peers, school events, and communities online. These communities can definitely be beneficial in shaping identity, finding a group they fit into. It's a way for teens to turn off their brain and forget about their stressors in life. I’ll admit that during the pandemic, TikTok helped me figure out important parts of myself. I was able to find hobbies I still have today. I found enjoyment in DIYing clothes and art that make up a big part of my personality.

Social media can be good for personal development. But it all comes with moderation. It's not the pandemic anymore, and life has gone back to face to face interactions. The habits I had during quarantine are not sustainable to the life I have now. The constant screen time and exposure to social media has been shown to negatively affect cognitive brain development. “Those who engage in problematic social media use may be more prone to comparisons with content that embodies certain body ideals, increasing pressure to maintain a certain physical appearance.”

I have observed this first hand between my two interviewees M and A. When talking to them both A seemed a lot more emotionally intelligent and aware, her vocabulary was broad and she showed her priorities to maintaining individual friendships and school work. M, while still being a

very smart individual, seemed more focused on maintaining her "aesthetic" and keeping with her popularity among the school. Her priorities were less about academics and more about how people will perceive her.

All teens are different, and develop at different rates; fashion and authenticity are only one step of the check list of things happening during this time. But that self confidence that's being damaged by social media and screen time will only harm teens in the long run. “Adolescents actively exploring and beginning to commit to (either achievement or moratorium) tend to be more emotionally stable and resilient…That security helps them face the loneliness and uncertainty that often accompany identity development—belonging acts like emotional scaffolding, something to lean on when they doubt themselves. Teens with at least one sense of belonging report lower rates of depression, more self-worth, and stronger social engagement” according to Psychology Today. Building that self confidence early on will create more mentally prepared teens as they navigate life and enter adulthood. I can say from my own experience, that awkward phase I went through has only brought me positives as an adult, and I can only hope the same for all the kids and teens going through the same thing.